If you have a stick in your mouth, you automatically switch to super overdrive, and will be compelled to run around like you are insane...

If your people won't let you on the bed, cry, whine and look pathetic until they do, and if they don't, jump directly on vulnerable parts when they are sleeping.

Be excessive, if they ask you to get a stick, bring back a tree, if they ask for a kiss, drench their face.

If someone seems to not want to be friends, follow them around, stare at them, bark at them, cry, and if they are sitting, sit directly on them, and kiss them until they can't breath.

Always sit where everyone is, and if they are in the same place, like the couch or bed, make sure to plop yourself in between them, and DO NOT MOVE.

If they try to move you, be stubborn, dig in your heels, and if they do move you, refer to number 3.

If you want to add a little excitement to your life...chase something, the cat, squirrels, raccoons, see how your people come running and yelling. I have found that porcupines and skunks work exceptionally well, but don't ever catch them, or you'll end up in the bath tub or the vet's.

If you want to add a little excitement to your life...chase something, the cat, squirrels, raccoons, see how your people come running and yelling. I have found that porcupines and skunks work exceptionally well, but don't ever catch them, or you'll end up in the bath tub!

Baths are always bad, unless someone is already in there, or it's with the hose or the water gun they think is punishment.

Act as silly as you can when you do something wrong, and you should get away with it. The trick is to make them laugh...

Work that tongue of yours...let them come close enough and then surprise them with a lick "snake's style" right on the mouth!

Make sure to always go for the most comfortable couch in the house... even if it is already occupied. Same thing goes for your favorite lap.

When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience, keeping a keen eye on the hand that holds the treat, unless there is something more interesting within 100 yards, then ignore everyone and focus entirely on the more interesting person/dog/thing to the point of reaching a trance state.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy and prompt you to produce copious amounts of drool to leave on all interior car windows.

Never miss the opportunity to cuddle with a loved one ...

What Animal Do I Speak Of?

Their love is like no other; their heart is pure as gold.
Yet while going on a friendly walk, they're faced with stares of cold.

They're so very close to human, in how they act and what they do. Unless you've known their devoted love, it's impossible to explain to you.

They are greatly more misunderstood, than any other breed. We tend to punish this loyal dog, instead of mankind's deeds.

They are always and forever clowns, with a wish for center stage.Yet while displaying this sense of humor, most people disengage.

They, oh, so want to make new friends, and run and jump and play. Yet when they happily approach, most people shy away.

Often I've seen children poke, or hop on for a ride.
And when I felt they might get mad, they've only beamed with pride.

I've seen these children yank and pull, with nary a reaction.Yet media's not interested, unless they've put someone in traction.

They love to snuggle up real close, to give lots of loves and kisses.Yet they suffer more than any, from unfair prejudices.

What animal do I speak of, whose love is so unique?
If you've truly known one, you know of whom I speak.

There is no creature on this earth who will ever make you merrier. The animal I do speak of, it's the American Pit Bull Terrier.

By Patty Letawsky

Verse 1
Out in the country past the city limits sign
Well there's a doggie park that I think is mine
The Park starts jumpin' every day when the sun comes up. It's got dogs, fences and pitbull folk
It's where all the pitbull folk watch the butt scootin' boogie

Verse 2
I've got a good home I play hard when it's sunny. When it's scootin' time I hit the door runnin'. Mom fires up our pickup truck and lets the doggies ride. We go flyin' down that highway, to the doggie park. Put there just for us to do the butt scootin' boogie

Chorus
Yeah, heel, toe, here we go, come on Mommy, let's go butt scootin'. Oh Cadillac, blackjack, Mommy meet me outside I'm gonna boogie
Oh, get down, spin around, I'm a clown, butt scootin' boogie

Verse 3
My pitbull Mom asks me "Honey, what do you see? I want to sniff that rednose, she's Lookin' at me. The dog park's hoppin' and it's hotter than the Fourth of July. There's pitbulls and amstaffs, bitches and dogs. All out makin' it shake doin' the butt scootin' boogie

(Chorus)

I asked for an obedient dog that I might feel proud;
I was given stubbornness that I might feel humble.

I asked for compliance that I might feel masterful;
I was given a clown that I might laugh.

I asked for a companion that I might not feel lonely;
I was given a best friend that I would feel loved.

I got nothing I asked for,
But everything that I needed.

Author Unknown

Pit Bulls Don't Cry

I see the children in the lane

They look like friends, we'll have a game

They've got a stick, oh boy, what fun

They'll throw it for me and I'll run

But someone stops me,

I wonder why their mother screams?

Don't go near those horrid dogs, come here, come close

They're dangerous - I'll tell you why

They bite children and they die!

All I can do is watch and sigh

Cause now I know that Pit Bulls don't cry

Mom cuddles me up and says "My pet,

We love you dearly so don't you fret"

But I love everyone out there

Why can't they love me? I do care

I wish they weren't made to pass me by

I'm a Pit Bull, I don't cry

I sit behind my padlocked gate

From early morn til quite late

When I go out it's quite late

When I go out it's on a lead

Is mine the only heart to bleed?

I'm held in check as the world goes by

I wish the Pit Bull heart could cry

There are some dogs, and also men

Who cannot tell a foe from a friend

So all of us must bear the blame

Expected to live a life of shame

Condemned, alas and we know not why

All we know is we will not cry!

-Author Unknown