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Cyrus's "Top Ten Stump Uses"
10. Lean on it while you dig with the paw you can feel
9. Lean on it to sniff the ground (or if you're real lucky, yucky stuff)
8. Use it like a very short leg if you want to sniff the ground and walk at the same time
7. Use it as well as you can along with your long leg to hold things you are trying to chew
6. Swing your shoulder and use it to tap the person (Dad) who you want to continue scratching you while you have the paw you can stand on placed on the chair between his legs
5. Lean on it to adjust your position in someone's lap (This is painful but not to the stump, so expect some complaints from the owner of the lap.)
4. Pivot on it when running in tight circles or making sharp turns inward on your stump side (Think like a hot shot motorcycle rider, but don't let Dad see because he thinks this is bad cycling form unless you have on racing boots and it bothers him.)
3. Use it as a brake for sliding stops on dirt roads and carpets (Expect lots of rug burns and hair loss, but its fun, and it's even more fun on ice when you don't really stop!)
2. Use it to keep running even after the paws you can feel go through the neat icy crust that forms on top the snow here in Maine (This actually evens up the your leg lengths but it makes your stump swell up like a balloon full of water at its tip when you're done.)
1. Use it as an ice breaker for making friends before they ask your Mom or Dad what kind of a dog you are. (Make sure you are very friendly while they pet you and say "What happened??")
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